


Worthy Of You

by Thatsrightmyhype



Series: All I Can Think About Is You [1]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Cheating, Cuddles, Everyone ruffles Lando's hair, F/M, Ferrari Driver Carlos, First Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, McLaren Driver Ricciardo, Sebastian Giving Pep Talks, Set in 2021 Season, Slow Burn, break-ups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24439444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatsrightmyhype/pseuds/Thatsrightmyhype
Summary: Max breaks Daniel's heart in the worst way possible. Carlos breaks Lando's heart like a gentlemen.Both start the new season hurting but maybe they'll be just what the other needs.
Relationships: Charles Leclerc/Carlos Sainz Jr, Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen (past), Dilara Sanlik/Max Verstappen, Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr (one-sided), Lando Norris/Daniel Ricciardo
Series: All I Can Think About Is You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1840303
Comments: 36
Kudos: 216





	1. Heartbreak 101: A Gentleman and A Total Prick

“This can’t happen again,’ Max whispers and Daniel looks up at him from where he’d been having a post-sex browse of Instagram on his phone.

“Sorry, what?’ He asks confused, putting down the phone and moving from where he’s been lying on his front to by Max’s side on the end of the bed.

Max huffs, looking straight down at the floor where his feet are twisting around each other. Daniel knows this is a sign he’s nervous so he puts a comforting hand on his shoulder, only to have it violently shaken off.

“You heard me,’ he says louder this time, voice devoid of any emotion,’We can’t do this again.”

“Maxy-‘ Daniel starts but he stops when Max turns to face him, his eyes watering slightly in the low light of Daniel’s bedroom.

“We can’t have sex again,’ he states resolutely, ‘I can’t keep doing this to Dilara.”

Daniel is quiet for a moment before a hint of rage begins to ripple beneath the surface of his skin.

“So was that it?’ He asks, turning from Max to look at the rumpled bedsheets, the full condom he’d carelessly tossed aside in favour of some post-sex cuddles, ‘You knew it was the last time and you didn’t say…”

“I knew you’d try to make it special,’ Max replies, punctuating his sentence with a humourless laugh, ‘If you had known, you’d fuck me so well I’d never leave.”

“Then don’t,’ Daniel says, voice taking on a slightly desperate edge now as Max’s words begin to sink in.

Max is really serious about this. Daniel’s been sidelined, traded in for someone Max’s dad will approve of, someone he isn’t constantly trying to best on track or in the bedroom, someone Max has deemed worthy of his attention. He reaches out, twinning Max’s fingers with his own before resting his forehead on the other man’s shoulder, throat closing up to stop the sob that’s threatening to escape, especially as he’s not shaken off this time.

“Don’t leave me,’ he whispers into a freckled shoulder before wrapping his arms around the other man’s waist, ‘Maxy…”

They’d been together through so much, survived through so many things and this was how Max has decided it was going to end? One last fuck and then he was gone?

“Dan,’ Max says, voice rough but resolute, ‘Please. Please let go.”

Daniel looks up at Max’s face now. He’s still facing the floor but now his eyes are squeezed shut as if he can’t dare to look at him, silent tears running down his cheeks.

“What if I say no?’ Daniel asks, reaching up a hand to turn Max’s face towards him, ‘Fuck everyone, let’s just go away for a while, leave everything behind.”

He’s disappointed if not surprised when the other man’s eyes remain tightly shut. Without even looking at his face he can probably tell that Daniel’s words will end up as empty promises.

“Please,’ Max begs quietly, leaning into the warmth of Daniel’s hand despite his words, ‘Just let me go.”

Daniel feels his entire body go numb as he slowly pulls his hand away from Max’s cheek. Surely he won’t actually go through with this? He can’t just get up and exit Daniel’s sphere of existence so easily? Yet Max stands up, picks up his jeans and t-shirt off of the floor and walks out of the room. Daniel can hear him shuffling his clothes and shoes on through the echoing silence of the apartment. There’s a moment of complete stillness, as if Max is hesitating. Daniel stands up but before he can make more than two steps towards the bedroom door, the sound of the front door closing echos through the hallway.

Daniel stands there naked in the bedroom for ten minutes, waiting for Max to come back in (he has his own key, he can come in and they’ll act like he never said anything, everything will be fine). He pulls on a jumper and a pair of boxers, robotically moving to the bed and getting under the covers. He turns on his TV and waits. One hour goes by and nothing. He checks his phone but the only thing he’s received is an email from McLaren. He goes back to the TV. One hour becomes two, two become three and when the clock strikes midnight signalling a new day, Daniel breaks down in wretched sobs.

*

Lando swirls the champagne around in his glass before downing it and swapping it for a full one off of one of the waiter’s trays. He’s feeling sad and reckless and he decides that’s the best combination of feelings to have when one is planning on getting absolutely wasted.

He spots Carlos on the other side of the room looking positively gorgeous in his suit and bow tie. The McLaren Christmas party is something Lando has been looking forward to mainly because of this very sight. He watches how the Spaniard interacts with the small crowd that has gravitated towards him, charming them with easy laughs and his natural aura that flows through every word and gesture. Lando’s heart pounds as he watches Carlos’ hands gesticulate wildly at some anecdote and he knows that if he doesn’t do this now, he won’t ever have the chance to again. Steeling himself, he walks over there (miraculously without tripping over his own feet) and stands to the side, watching Carlos up close until he’s noticed. The other man’s face lights up when he realises Lando is there and he excuses himself, slinging a friendly arm over his shoulders.

“Landoooo!’ He says, ‘I was wondering if I would even see you tonight! Where have you been hiding, hm?”

Lando shrugs, trying to look nonchalant but probably just betraying his nerves.

“Mingling,’ he says, ‘It seemed like you were having fun?”

“Not as much fun as we are cabron,’ he says, grinning broadly and winking and Lando can’t help but blush.

“I need a bit of air, come outside with me?’ Lando says far too quickly and Carlos’ grin turns questioning.

“Alright little one but if you’re planning on playing a practical joke, just remember I am always one step ahead of you,’ Carlos says, removing his arm from Lando’s shoulders and signalling for him to lead the way.

They escape through a small door onto a patio and Lando looks up at the sky, praying to whatever deity is looking down on him right now that he’s not about to make a fool out of himself.

“Is everything okay?’ Carlos asks and Lando turns around to see furrowed brows and a concerned frown being directed at him.

He swallows the lump in his throat and wishes he’d had maybe one more glass of champagne.

“Well, I…’ Lando pauses, before chickening out, ‘Are you excited about next season?”

Carlos tuts quietly before walking closer and pulling Lando into a one-armed hug.

“Is that why you are being so quiet?’ He asks, ‘Lando, we will still be friends, whether we are teammates or not.”

Lando’s brain stopped comprehending anything past the word ‘friends’. He desperately wants to hold onto Carlos and if he doesn’t do something now, he’s going to slip away entirely. He turns in the casual hold Carlos has over his shoulder and looks up through his lashes into deep brown eyes.

“I don’t want to be just friends,’ he says, barely louder than a breath but the words echo between the pair of them with an air of finality.

Carlos looks confused for a second and so Lando’s alcohol-addled brain decides it’s a good idea to stand on his tip toes and kiss him. He tries to pour two years worth of pent-up feelings into the kiss, attempting to convey through one single touch how he feels. After three seconds of stillness beneath his lips, Lando is about to lean back when Carlos’ hand comes up to cup Lando’s face.

‘This is it’ he thinks to himself with relief until Carlos uses that hand to pull Lando’s face away from his own. He chances a look at those eyes and they’re downcast, pitying and sad and if Lando could, he would give absolutely anything to erase the past five minutes from history.

“Oh Lando,’ Carlos says quietly before pulling him into a hug and if anything this comforting affection is worse than an outright rejection.

Carlos is trying to let him down gently, trying to ease the pain he’s inevitably about to cause with whatever words will come out of his mouth next and Lando’s heart is physically splitting apart in his chest.

“I’m sorry Lando,’ Carlos whispers into his ear before pulling them apart and looking into his eyes, ‘I will always be here for you but I just don’t see you in that way.”

Lando looks down, trying to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. He nods at Carlos’ words, knowing logically that sometimes these things just don’t work out but that doesn’t stop it hurting any less.

“I’m sorry, I was stupid,’ Lando starts, rubbing furiously at his eyes with a fist in an attempt to avoid any further humiliation.

“No, you were very brave,’ Carlos says softly, ‘It took a lot of courage to tell me. I’m flattered.”

“But you don’t like me?’ Lando asks before he can even think of what he’s saying and immediately he wants to take it back, ‘Fuck, don’t…don’t even worry about it, okay.”

Carlos’ eyes are so sad. Lando can’t believe he’s just ruined one of the best friendships he’s ever had. He’s not sure whether it would be better or worse if Carlos hadn’t been such a wonderful gentleman about the entire situation. If anything, it makes him like him even more for giving him such a heartfelt rejection.

“You should go back to the party,’ Lando says, stepping away and turning to look out at the green field beyond the patio, ‘You’re much better at the whole socialising thing than I am.”

Carlos stands very still for a second and for a moment Lando is terrified that there’s a passionate lecture about self-esteem coming and wouldn’t that just be the icing on the cake. Instead he sighs and rubs a hand across his face.

“If you’re sure that’s what you want,’ he says cautiously and Lando could scream at his naturally caring attitude.

Especially when what he actually wants is for Carlos to sweep him into his arms and kiss him until his knees are weak. Instead Lando nods and Carlos turns to leave. Lando isn’t looking at him but he can hear the pause in his footsteps where he hesitates, looking at Lando’s back. He almost turns around, wondering if maybe he’d changed his mind. However before he summons the courage, the footsteps continue and he’s alone.

Charlotte finds him in exactly the same spot over an hour later, eyes red-rimmed and out of tears to cry. She puts her arm around his waist and takes him home, the atmosphere in her car sombre and reflective. He feels bad when she walks him to the door, realising that he’s not been very gentlemanly at all and his mother would be very disappointed in him. Before she gets back in the car, she gives him a tight hug that makes him want to start crying all over again.

“Everything is going to be okay Lando,’ she whispers, pulling away and patting his cheek with a smile, ‘I absolutely promise.”

He doesn’t know how she knows or whether she has any idea what happened tonight at all but he figures it’s not too hard to work out: everyone in McLaren is a little bit in love with Carlos. Just some more than others.

“Thanks Char,’ Lando says, ‘For everything.”

“Win us some races next year and I might be able to consider us even,’ she says with a wink, managing to get Lando to bark out a rough laugh.

She gives him a sad smile and gets into her car. Lando waves at her until she’s disappeared down the drive entirely before letting himself into the house. He walks through as if on autopilot, methodically removing his suit and unbuttoning his shirt before going to the bathroom to clean his teeth. He avoids looking in the mirror, scared of what his reflection will look like. Once he’s clean, he strips down his boxers and gets into bed, hoping that sleep will come over him soon. Fortunately his emotional exhaustion wins out quickly and he drifts off to sleep.

In the morning, he wakes up to a text from Carlos that says ‘no matter what, we will always be friends :)’ and Lando doesn’t even try to stop the sob that rips through his throat.


	2. Time To Be Honest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel and Lando meet as teammates and realise they have more in common than just racing in orange.

2021 is a new season and a clean slate for Daniel and he’s excited to prove himself. He also gets to hang out with Lando which is good because ever since the infamous pube press conference, he’s enjoyed teasing the younger man and if there’s anything he needs right now, it’s a distraction from his stupid feelings. He’d spent the rest of the Winter break attempting to avoid anything that reminded him of Max which was surprisingly difficult as everything in his apartment seemed to have a connection to the other man.

It got so bad that he fully moved into his neat little house in the UK two weeks early, just to get away from the haunting mementos.

Finally the first day of his new job has arrived and he’s meeting all the McLaren staff he will be working with over the next two years. He’s turned off his personal issues and turned on the charm, breezing through the introductions and feeling very pleased with himself whenever his shitty jokes actually coax a laugh out of a member of staff.

“Lando’s here today as well, if you want to have a little chat?’ The comms manager (he thinks her name is Charlotte) says as they’re approaching what looks like a colossal meeting room at the end of a corridor, ‘I think you guys will get along really well.”

She says it with a smile but there’s something about her tone that’s incredibly hopeful. Daniel can’t help but feel intrigued but before he can question her further, they enter the meeting room and Zac Brown is shaking his hand.

“We’re so happy to have you on board Daniel,’ he says, grasping both his hands, ‘You’re gonna love the team, I trust you’ve met a lot of them already?”

“Yeah, everyone’s been so nice,’ Daniel says politely, blown away by the other man’s enthusiasm.

“Awesome dude,’ Zac says, ‘I know you’ve met Lando already but now we get to introduce you as official teammates.”

He moves aside and that’s when Daniel sees Lando, sat down in one of the chairs, obviously waiting to be introduced. When their eyes meet, he grins widely but Daniel still sees it doesn’t quite meet his eyes. He stands up and makes his way over to shake Daniel’s hand, raising an eyebrow when the older man just stares at it dumbly. Before he can be questioned, Daniel swoops down and picks Lando up in a massive bear hug.

“My little milk child! How have you been my man?’ He asks, finally dropping a flailing Lando down on the ground.

Lando is giggling genuinely now and Daniel feels a lot better about this smile than he did the first.

“I’m good and yourself?’ He asks, ‘All moved in?”

Daniel nods proudly.

“You’ll have to come over and see the place, it’s the ultimate bachelor pad. Mini fridge in every room, bean bags, cinema room, everything you could ever want.”

“Sounds sick,’ Lando says, beaming.

“As long as you don’t do anything too stupid, I’m all for some team bonding,’ Zac says, rubbing his hands and making the other two jump, forgetting there was even anyone else with them.

Daniel looks to Charlotte and sees her smirking a little.

“Time to get down to business then,’ Zac says and the pair of them take a seat, finally ready to get down to work.

*

“So d’you wanna come over to my place after work today?’ Daniel asks on Friday.

They’d had a gruelling week of running numbers, sim training and intense gym sessions and although it’s Daniel’s dream job, he’s ready for a bit of down time.

“Sounds awesome,’ Lando replies enthusiastically.

Already in the past week, Daniel has noticed a change in the younger man; every day, he smiles more and frowns less. There are still hints of inner turmoil that show in the line of his brow on occasion but Daniel still feels a little happy on the inside that maybe his company is helping to shift the bad funk hanging over Lando.

Daniel drives them in his new, obnoxiously lime green McLaren Spider and as they pull up the driveway, Lando lets out a low whistle. Daniel had managed to find a converted farmhouse with a mile-long driveway through a field. He knew it wasn’t quite as homely as his parent’s house in Australia but the wide space and view of the rolling hills was still nice.

He drives the car into the garage on the side of the house and makes his way inside, Lando following him like an excited puppy. Despite the traditional outside, the inside of the house is entirely modern but still scattered with some authentic Daniel-esque decorations.

“This is amazing,’ Lando says, running a hand over the black marble kitchen top before wandering through into the next room and gasping, ‘You have an indoor pool?”

“Yeah, it’s so fucking sick,’ he says, entering the pool room and leaning against the doorframe, watching in amusement as Lando moves his hand across the surface, ‘You fancy a swim?”

“Duh!’ Lando shouts and Daniel laughs heartily, walking to a chest of drawers across the room, grabbing a couple of pairs of ridiculously bright and patterned swimming trunks out and throwing one at Lando.

Daniel strips off, comfortable with his nakedness before pulling the shorts on and dive bombing into the pool. He breaks the surface laughing, only to see Lando turned away from him, blushing furiously.

“Aww, is Lando shy?’ Daniel asks teasingly, causing Lando to scoff.

“Some of us don’t just strip off in front of their guests,’ Lando counters and Daniel rolls his eyes.

“Bathroom is that way,’ he says, pointing at a small door that almost blends into the grey tiling of the room itself.

Lando hurries over and Daniel takes the opportunity to let his body float to the surface of the water. He lays there, supported by the stillness and he wills away all of the anxieties floating around in his brain. It’s only in this reflective moment that he hasn’t really thought about Max in the past week, his brain so busy being filled with data and statistics that there was no room left for the dutchman to occupy. He knows this will be different as soon as the season starts up once again and he has to see him at every race but for now, he can maybe be content.

His thoughts are interrupted by a huge splash. He inhales a big gulp of water through his nose and resurfaces, spluttering indignantly while Lando laughs from where he’d just bombed into the pool.

“Oi! No bombing in the pool!’ Daniel shouts as he rubs his nose in an attempt to stop the stinging sensation that just won’t go away.

“You did it first!’ Lando yells back but he’s laughing between what seems like every syllable.

“Yeah but it’s my fucking pool!’ Daniel replies, ‘Right, you’re in for it now!”

Lando squeals and the pair of them spend the next twenty minutes chasing and dunking each other under the water.

“Okay, okay, stop,’ Lando says, holding his hands out just as Daniel’s about to approach him, ‘I can’t hear anything and I’m pretty sure I’ve drunk, like, half the pool water.”

“Yeah yeah you little weakling,’ Daniel replies but does as he says, hopping out of the pool and grabbing a couple of water bottles from the nearby mini fridge before handing one to Lando.

He dangles his feet over the side while Lando hoists his upper body to rest on the edge of the pool, sipping their water in companionable silence.

“What now?’ Lando asks once he’s downed the rest of his drink.

Daniel shrugs.

“Truth or dare?’ He suggests with a challenging grin.

Lando rolls his eyes, before looking at Daniel, considering.

“Only if you go first,’ he says.

“Alrighty milk child,’ Daniel says, rubbing his hands together, ‘I’d like a dare please.”

Lando looks at him thoughtfully before a mischievous smirk makes it’s way onto his face.

“I dare you to open the door and tell the world that you’re the least funny F1 driver ever,’ he says looking very proud of himself.

Daniel rolls his eyes but still walks over to the door that leads to the garden, flinging the doors open and letting a freezing cold draught in.

“I’m the least funny F1 driver in the world!’ He yells as loudly as he can before he looks back at Lando and continues, ‘But I am the most good-looking!”

Lando is laughing a lot when Daniel gets back, having wrestled the door closed once more.

“I feel like Charles and Lewis would have something to say about that,’ Lando says with a raised eyebrow as Daniel settles down into his previous position.

“Yeah, probably Carlos too,’ Daniel says with a chuckle, ‘Lucky you having the most handsome drivers as your teammates to help be your wingmen.”

Daniel laughs until he sees Lando’s face. He’s resolutely focused on tracing the pattern on the side of the pool with a single finger while biting his lip, eyes downcast. He looks like a kicked puppy and Daniel swallows, feeling guilty even though he doesn’t know what he’s feeling guilty for.

“Your turn,’ he says quickly, nudging Lando’s shoulder with his foot.

Lando looks up at him, snapping out of the temporary funk and thinking for a second.

“Dare,’ he says with a smile.

“I dare you to pay for dinner,’ Daniel says, smirking at Lando’s sudden spluttering.

“Is that allowed?’ Lando asks climbing out of the pool and crossing his arms.

“Why wouldn’t it be?’ Daniel replies as he stands up himself and pats Lando on the head, ‘I’ve got a couple of take-out menus. Let’s enjoy ourselves while we still can.”

“Yeah, thanks to my wallet,’ he says but he’s still smiling.

Daniel hands him a large fluffy towel from the same drawers he got the swim shorts from and leads them to the kitchen, not too bothered about the little puddles of water that follow them. They order a Chinese takeaway and eat it at the kitchen island, still continuing with their game of truth or dare.

“I dare you to pass me the pepper,’ Daniel says and Lando rolls his eyes.

“Is this how lame I’m going to be in ten years?’ Lando says under his breath but not so quietly that Daniel wasn’t meant to hear it.

“You are such a disrespectful shit,’ he says and Lando sticks his tongue out in retaliation.

“Takes one to know one,’ he says cheekily, ‘Anyway, it’s your turn.”

“Let’s change things up a bit,’ Daniel says, ‘Truth.”

Lando taps his chin with his chopsticks, looking considerate.

“Do you regret getting any of your tattoos?’ He asks and it’s entirely not what Daniel expected him to say.

He looks at his thigh and can’t help but trace the designs that are there. He remembers his first tattoo, how terrified he was of the needle but how he sat through the process anyway. He was so pleased seeing the completed lighthouse, a reminder of home. Then he looks at his arm, of the little cherub with no arrows left. No more love left to give. He didn’t think it had much meaning at the time but maybe his sub-conscious influenced his decision more than he realised.

“No,’ he says but he’s not sure whether he actually means that or not, ‘They all make me look like a badass. Max always used to say-“

He manages to stop himself before he reveals anything more. His heart is pounding. Just as he thought he was doing well to not think about the man who broke his heart, he has a true slip-up in front of one of the most curious and questioning people he knows. He purses his lips and hopes Lando doesn’t enquire anything further.

“What did he say?’ Lando asks, not able to ignore that slip up as Daniel thought.

“Um, it doesn’t matter,’ Daniel says, looking away and trying to find a distraction, ‘D’you want something to drink? Like, a vodka tonic or some shit?”

“Er sure,’ Lando says awkwardly and Daniel feels like he’s really fucked this already.

They haven’t even started racing yet and he’s gone and ruined everything. He pours the two glasses and takes the seat he had before, taking a big gulp. Lando does the same but promptly coughs as he realises how bitter the drink is.

“This tastes like pure shite,’ he says, still coughing, ‘You drink this on purpose?!”  
Daniel can’t help but cackle at that reaction and immediately the tension between the pair of them lessens. Lando grimaces and takes another sip.

“Don’t drink it if you don’t want it,’ Daniel says, reaching out to take the glass from him but Lando pulls it closer to himself.

“I’ll drink it!’ He says indignantly, ‘I’m…I’m trying to have a more sophisticated taste, maybe I’ll get used to it…eventually.”

Lando continues to grimace through the entire drink and Daniel wonders if he’s telling the truth or if he’s doing it because he knows it’s making him smile. Once he’s spluttered his way through the first one, Daniel pours them a second which goes down infinitely more easily. By the time they both finish off the third, Daniel is definitely tipsy and Lando is well on his way to being actually drunk.

“Do you ever drink that much?’ Daniel asks, hand propping his head up on the table.

“Sometimes I have champagne at parties,’ Lando replies, looking sadly at his glass that Daniel had sensibly filled with just water, ‘Like, at the Christmas party this year I had seven glasses.”

Daniel whistles.

“That’s quite a lot,’ Daniel says, ‘Any special reason?”

“I needed some liquid courage,’ Lando says, shrugging.

“Oo, was there a lady friend you wanted to impress?’ Daniel asks, wiggling his eyebrows and Lando snorts.

“Not exactly,’ he says and there’s a moment where everything is silent before he speaks again, ‘I confessed to Carlos that I liked him.”

Daniel’s eyes grow wide while Lando shrugs and rubs his neck nervously.

“I knew it was my last chance to say something before he went to Ferrari,’ he starts and from the careful way he’s speaking, Daniel thinks he’s never told anyone else this before, ‘Maybe I thought…if he felt the same way…he might stay.”

Lando sighs deeply and looks up at Daniel. Daniel takes in the other man, the sudden intensity of his eyes, the way his curls have dried in tight rings that frame his face, the worried slant of his mouth and feels so unbearably sad that Carlos rejected him. Lando must read something else in his expression though because his eyes widen and he holds his hands up quickly.

“Not that I’m not happy you’re my teammate,’ he says quickly, ‘It’s just I thought he felt the same and I put it all on the line and he was so stupidly nice about the whole thing that it’s not like I could even be angry with him and-“

“I was sleeping with Max,’ Daniel says suddenly, surprising both himself and Lando with that confession.

Lando stares at him, gaping like a fish.

“But…but Dilara?’ He says and Daniel feels his gut churn with guilt.

“We started before they were together. At first I thought he was just with her to make his dad happy and maybe he’d realise that we were meant to be together…but he was stayed with her.”

Daniel thinks back to the day he saw the photo of her and Max with his whole family over Christmas and the resulting emotional gut punch brings tears to his eyes.

“I thought maybe if I was good enough, he might stay with me,’ Daniel says, voice so small in the big room, ‘But last time I saw him, he told me that was the last time and he hasn’t contacted me since.”

He’s definitely been online, posting on Instagram and streaming with Lando for fuck’s sake and this is definitely the worst idea Daniel has ever had, to blurt this secret out to one of Max’s closest friends on the grid. He’s about to try and backtrack the fact that he just revealed the worst heartbreak he’s ever experienced to his brand new teammate when he feels a pair of arms around his shoulders. Lando’s pressed up against his back with his face buried in the back of his neck. Daniel rests his hands on Lando’s wrists and leans back a little.

It feels nice to tell his secret and not have the world collapse in on him like he’s a black hole. Lando mumbles something against the back of Daniel’s neck.

“Hmm? What was that?’ He asks, twisting his head to try and look at the other man.

All he sees is the side of Lando’s head as the younger man keeps his eyes resolutely down.

“Look at the pair of us,’ Lando repeats louder this time, ‘We’re absolute disasters.”

Daniel laughs loudly at that. He spins fully and tilts Lando’s chin up, cooing at the small tears that have leaked from his eyes. Lando bats his hand away but Daniel just grasps it in his own.

“I’m glad you told me about Carlos,’ he says, ‘It fucking sucks to have your heart broken, I know. But we’ll get through it together, okay?”

Lando looks up through his dark lashes then at Daniel, blinking back the remaining moisture from his eyes. He gives him a small smile and nods.

“Good,’ Daniel says, standing up and managing to pick Lando up into a bridal carry with a squeal, ‘Now lets go for a nap and sober up. God knows we could do with some self-pitying cuddles right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post just the one chapter a day but I've had three homemade pina coladas and I'm craving some validation so here's chapter two. Hope you guys like it because, honestly, this is one of my favourite, most emotion-heavy things I've written (I can't believe I wrote something without several chapters of smut?!) and I hope it shows. As always, if you liked it, leave a comment/some kudos and thanks for reading!


	3. The Circus Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to start racing. Too bad that means seeing the men who broke their hearts.

After their little bonding session, Daniel and Lando had grown a lot closer. Lando attributed it to shared trauma and just thanked his lucky stars that they had both sworn each other to secrecy over what had happened. The PR team couldn’t be happier with them, scheduling them for multiple Youtube features and interviews, each one funnier than the last. Lando was feeling happy and content in his little pre-Season bubble but now it’s the first race weekend of the season in Melbourne and he’s absolutely shitting himself.

As he walks around the paddock saying hello to all the usual faces, he can’t help the way his heart races in his chest as he passes the Ferrari garage. He tries to look casual, telling himself he’s not looking for dark hair and intense eyes but he knows he’s lying. He doesn’t see Carlos at all and ignores the confusing mix of relief and disappointment brewing in his gut until he gets back to the McLaren garage and sees the object of his thoughts casually chatting with Daniel.

Carlos looks amazing in Ferrari red. He’s got his race suit tied around his waist and his fireproofs hug every muscle in a way that’s unexplainably different to the McLaren ones Lando was used to seeing him in. He’s laughing at something that Daniel’s saying before he pushes his glossy hair out of his eyes and looks around. He finds who he’s looking for and Lando is rooted to the spot as the Spaniard makes his way over.

“Hello Lando,’ he says, smiling widely, ‘How are you?”

“F-fine,’ Lando says erratically, crossing his arms over his chest, ‘All good on this end, couldn’t be better. Yourself?”

‘You may have overdone it Norris’ he thinks to himself as Carlos raises a confused eyebrow.

“I’m good,’ Carlos replies slowly, ‘I was just talking with Daniel, he thinks you’ll do well this season.”

Lando looks over Carlos’ shoulder to see Daniel watching the pair of them with interested eyes. He gives Lando a reassuring nod and subtle thumbs up. Lando resists the urge to roll his eyes.

“I hope so,’ he says with a shrug, startling slightly when Carlos puts his hand on his shoulder.

“You will be great, I can feel it,’ he says with kind eyes and Lando feels like he’s actually going to scream at him as he leans in a bit closer, ‘Why did you not reply to any of my messages?”

Lando’s face heats up instantly in embarrassment. Of course Carlos expects him to act normal after being rejected, he has no idea how deep Lando’s stupid ‘crush’ went. He has no clue how much Lando had cried over him, over how he didn’t think he’d ever be able to look at Carlos without thinking of the gentle way he had crushed his heart. Daniel must see the panic written on his face because before he knows it, he’s grasping his shoulders and steering him away.

“Sorry Chilli, we’ve gotta dash, my boy Zac just called us in for a meeting so we’ll see you on the track right?’ He says quickly and Lando is so grateful.

“Oh, okay, see you guys later then?’ Carlos says, waving them away before turning to make his way back to his own garage.

Daniel pushes Lando all the way back to their private room, shutting the door pretty forcefully behind him.

“Thanks mate,’ Lando says, taking a seat on the sofa and rubbing a hand over his face.

“No problemo,’ Daniel replies before taking a seat next to him and slinging an arm around his shoulder, ‘What even happened?”

“He asked me why I haven’t been replying to his messages,’ Lando confesses, ‘I don’t really want to give off the desperate ‘It’s still too painful to even have basic communication with you’ vibe.”

Daniel snorts but pulls Lando closer, letting him rest his head on his shoulder.

“It’ll get easier mate, I promise,’ he says softly and Lando nods, even if he’s not sure about just how long that might take.

“Have you seen Max yet?’ Lando asks and Daniel tenses.

“Not yet and hopefully not ever again,’ he says quietly.

Lando nods and they sit quietly, both reflecting on the absolute state of their love lives.

*

“Hey, Lando!’ Max calls from further up the paddock and Lando’s stomach drops.

He hasn’t been actively avoiding Max per say but the guilt he feels at talking to him when he knows how Daniel feels has been eating away at him every single time he sees the dutchman. They’ve still been streaming together (albeit less often) and Max still tags him in funny memes but Lando has known Max long enough now to know that there’s something bothering him.

“Hey man, good job on qualifying today,’ he says, just as something to say.

“Not too bad yourself,’ Max says and Lando knows there’s something up because he never genuinely compliments Lando, not even a little bit.

“So what’s up?’ He asks after a second of quiet where Max’s eyes are quickly scanning the inside of the McLaren garage.

“Ah, just thought I’d check in,’ Max says, eyes focusing on Lando before looking over his shoulder once again, ‘Haven’t seen you around that much this weekend.”

‘That’s because every time I see you I want to give you a slap and shake your brain loose’ Lando thinks to himself but refrains from saying it.

“Just been busy I guess,’ he replies before deciding to take the bait, ‘Are you looking for someone?”

“Huh?’ Max asks, finally fully focusing on Lando, ‘Ah, I was just going to see if Daniel was around, I went to his over the Winter break for some gaming and left some of my stuff there.”

Lando couldn’t believe how he ever could have missed that they were fucking, that excuse was just so lame.

“I’ll let him know you came by if I see him,’ Lando says, trying not to be too frosty but he knows he’s failed by the way that Max’s eyebrows furrow, ‘Anyway, I really should get going-“

“Hey,’ comes Daniel’s voice from behind him and Lando groans internally (and possibly a little out loud), ‘How’s it hanging Maxy?”

He sounds cheerful but it’s definitely an act, there’s no way that enthusiasm is real.

“I’m good,’ Max says cautiously, obviously caught off guard by the behaviour, ‘I was just telling Lando that I left some things in your apartment last time we were gaming and I was wondering if I could come pick them up?”

“You couldn’t have texted me?’ Daniel asks, making Max snort.

“You didn’t block me?’ Max counters and Lando really wishes he could just melt into the pavement but he feels obliged to give Daniel some moral support after what happened with Carlos earlier.

Daniel shrugs in response.

“Maybe I hoped you’d call,’ he says and the smile playing on Max’s lips completely drops.

“Dan,’ he says seriously but Daniel just holds his hand up.

“You can go over any time you want,’ he says, ‘I won’t be there and you know where to find a key.”

Max swallows hard.

“Got it,’ he says, starting to turn around before changing his mind, ‘Dan, I just want to-“

“Max!’ Comes a distinctly female voice from the other side of the paddock and all three men turn to see Dilara walking towards them, ‘We’re heading out for dinner, you coming?”

“Yeah, one second,’ Max replies before turning back to Daniel, guilt written in every part of his face, ‘If I could just explain-“

“You better go Maxy,’ Daniel interrupts, smiling sadly, ‘You don’t wanna keep your chika waiting.”

“But-“

“Off you go,’ Daniel says, tilting his head in Dilara’s direction, ‘Enjoy dinner.”

Max looks like he wants to say something else but Daniel’s already walking away back to the McLaren garage. He sighs and looks at Lando who is rooted to the spot, unable to move or speak. Max puts a hand on Lando’s shoulder and looks like he wants to confess everything. Instead he squeezes the spot he’s holding, drops his hand and jogs over to his beautiful girlfriend, slinging an arm around her shoulders and pressing a kiss onto the top of her head.

Lando wanders back through the garage to the driver room and hesitantly knocks on the door.

“If you’re not Lando, please fuck off,’ Daniel says on the other side and Lando snorts.

“That would have been very rude if I were anyone else,’ he says as he opens the door.

“I knew it would be you,’ Daniel says from where he’s sprawled across the sofa, one arm draped dramatically over his eyes, ‘I know what my face looks like when I’m angry. No-one who saw me walk through to here would’ve want to follow me.”

Lando huffs out a half-hearted laugh before taking a seat next to Daniel and snuggling into his side. They sit there in silence for a while, just listening to the distant sounds of the garage on the other side of the walls.

“It’s just like,’ Daniel starts and Lando turns to him, ready to listen, ‘If you’re going to cut if off, just fucking cut it off. Don’t actively come here making those stupid lovesick faces and trying to explain yourself and giving me hope…”

He trails off, arm still covering his face and Lando feels an overwhelming sense of sadness for his teammate and friend wash over him. Before he can control it, fat tears are rolling down his cheeks. He tries to keep quiet but before he can will himself to calm down, a noisy sob/hiccup escapes his mouth. Daniel moves his arm away from his eyes immediately, looking down at Lando with his own glistening eyes.

“Oh no,’ he says, frantically trying to wipe Lando’s tears away, ‘Oh no honey bunch, stop crying!”

“I’m sorry,’ Lando warbles quietly, ‘I don’t know what came over me, it’s just…it sucks! You deserve better than someone w-who wants to just have you as their bit on the side.”

Daniel lets out a shaky exhale and Lando is worried that maybe he was a bit harsh but when he finishes wiping his eyes and looks at Daniel he just has a wry smile on his face.

“I thought I could be happy just fucking around with him and having fun,’ he pauses before running a hand over his face, ‘I’m disgusting.”

“No,’ Lando says, sitting up on his heels on the sofa, ‘No no no! You’re not disgusting. Not at all!”

Daniel shoots Lando a raised eyebrow.

“I slept with a guy who had a girlfriend, hoping he’d dump her and choose me,’ he says deadpan, ‘I’m not a good person Lando.”

Lando swallows, trying to will Daniel to get out of this funk.

“Well I said you weren’t disgusting, not morally ambiguous,’ he mutters and Daniel looks at him like he’s seeing him for the first time, ‘You know you shouldn’t have done it but…but it was Max’s choice as much as yours. I don’t think you can force Max to do anything he doesn’t want to do.”

“Ain’t that the fucking truth,’ Daniel mutters.

“Well, there you go,’ Lando finishes slightly lamely, ‘All you can do now is accept that you did something wrong and move on.”

Daniel looks at Lando for a long time and the younger man begins to feel his belly twist in excitement. Oh no.

“Y’know considering you’re a little virgin with no experience,’ Daniel starts and Lando can’t help but splutter, ‘You’re pretty wise.”

Daniel pulls Lando against his chest and holds him tight. Lando is very glad his face is hidden because it’s currently burning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short update but the next one is extra long! Hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading!


	4. A Bit of Advice from Unexpected Places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything seems to be going fine until Lando sees something he wishes he could forget and gets some advice from an unexpected person.

Despite the incidents on Saturday, the rest of the weekend seems to go okay. Max and Carlos obviously got the message that now might not be the right time to talk to either of the McLaren drivers and keep their distance, much to Lando and Daniel’s relief. They continue to absolutely boss all the PR opportunities, much to Charlotte’s obvious delight, due to their effortless banter. Lando has a small hiccup when someone asks him whether he prefers doing all these interviews with Daniel or Carlos but Daniel swoops in with a classic joke about how he’s much funnier, effectively distracting the reporter into moving on.

The race weekends following the first one seem to continue in a similar vein; there are a few awkward moments involving Carlos attempting to salvage his and Lando’s friendship which actually do seem to get easier to deal with every time while Max keeps swinging by the McLaren garage when Daniel is mysteriously absent. Him and Lando still talk but the younger feels like there’s a ‘How much do you know?’ Kind of conversation coming soon that he’s not looking forward to.

Before he knows it, it’s May and Lando is arriving in Monaco. Daniel offers to let him stay in his apartment and Lando enthusiastically agrees. What he’s less excited about is the post-race party that Daniel has announced to all the other drivers he will be hosting.

“Do I have to be there?’ He asks for the fourth time that weekend.

“It’ll be good Lando,’ Daniel says, ‘You’ll get to rub shoulders with Lewis, your one true love.”

“I said he was good-looking once, will you not just let it go?’ He asks, feeling exasperated but only getting a ruffle of his hair and cheeky grin in return.

Lando smooths down his hair and watches Daniel walk away to talk to one of his engineers, feeling his face heat up slightly at the way Daniel’s muscles flex under his fire proofs. He’s been wrestling with his feelings for a while now, torn between a calm ‘we’ll see where this goes’ approach and a panicked ‘are you falling in love with your teammate AGAIN?’ disaster. It doesn’t help as well that although it’s easier talking to Carlos than it was, his stomach still jolts whenever he sees him absentmindedly brush his hand through his luscious hair or says Lando’s name in that infuriatingly sexy accent.

He’s young, horny and confused about his feelings but honestly, what’s new.

The race comes and goes and before Lando knows it, he’s awkwardly perched on one of Daniel’s fancy sofas, drinking a vodka tonic from a red plastic cup (sometimes Daniel really is a basic bitch) while George tries to do a body shot from from Alex’s bellybutton. Weirdly it’s not the strangest thing he’s ever seen his friends do but probably the most disgusting as he can hear the slurping noises George is making from a good metre and a half away.

Max is unsurprisingly absent from the party.

“Lando, it’s your turn!’ George shouts once Alex’s body is vodka-free.

“Not a chance in hell,’ he replies with a sweet smile, rolling his eyes at the puppy eyes George tries to use to persuade him, ‘Those don’t work on anyone but Alex.”

“And they barely work on me,’ Alex adds matter-of-factly while George pouts.

Lando leaves them to their bickering and goes to the kitchen where Kimi and Sebastian are having a quiet conversation in the corner and Lance is sat at the kitchen island scrolling through his phone and eating Cheetos. Lando nearly turns around and leaves but Lance draws him into a surprisingly interesting conversation about golf. He feels his phone buzz in his pocket and sees a text from George saying ‘YOUR TURN’ with about twenty different emojis involving body parts and alcohol and rolls his eyes.

“I’m just going to put my phone on charge in my room,’ he says to Lance as he notices the power bar is flashing red in the corner.

“I better go join the party anyway,’ he replies with a nod, ‘Catch you back in there.”

Lando nods and makes his way past Kimi and Sebastian to the guest room Daniel had set him up in. He opens the door without bothering to knock (it’s his own room after all) but stops dead in his tracks.

In the middle of his room are Carlos and Charles. Kissing. It’s not just a sloppy drunken kiss either but a practised, passionate one where Carlos’ hand is resting gently against Charles’ cheek in the same way it rested against Lando’s as he pulled him away at the Christmas party. Charles’ arms are wrapped firmly around Carlos’ waist with one hand sneaking up the back of the nice knitted polo Carlos had worn that evening to stroke at his bare back.

Lando is completely frozen to the spot, watching as their lips move against each other, completely in sync and has an almost out-of-body thought that it’s objectively the two most beautiful people he’s ever seen making out and he should be grateful to witness this. However, personally he feels like his entire being has just been ripped inside out. He comes back to himself enough to realise he has to quietly sneak out of this room (his own fucking room) but then Charles moans against Carlos’ mouth and that’s the final straw.

Lando lets out a noise that sounds like a sob mixed with a high-pitched animal and the pair of them break apart immediately. Carlos seems to recover first, walking over with wide eyes while Charles stands still looking sheepish.

“Lando, I’m so sorry, we didn’t hear you come in, I didn’t want you to see that’ he starts and Lando can’t take it, the soft apology to accompany his heartbreak once again.

“Sorry for bothering you,’ Lando manages to spit out through his teeth, never feeling a venom like this before flowing through his veins and spilling into his words, ‘And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Carry on and enjoy fucking on my bed.”

He storms out of the room before he can see the reaction that his words have caused, storming through the kitchen, picking up his coat and leaving. He makes his way down to the lobby and exits the building. He’s not really sure where he’s going but his feet take him to the nearby pier that Daniel had shown him the previous day. He sits down on the edge, dangling his feet and looking up at the sky. It’s such a nice temperature outside but it doesn’t seem as clear as it did before. It’s only when he tries to squint at the stars in the sky that Lando realises his eyes are filled with tears. He rubs his eyes furiously with his fists but the tears keep coming. He gives up and just lets himself cry.

“Hi,’ comes a voice from behind him and Lando’s so spooked he nearly topples into the water below, ‘Hey, calm down, it’s just me.”

Lando turns fully and is shocked to realise it’s Sebastian who has followed him out. He tries to wipe his eyes a bit more, feeling embarrassed now as the older man sits down next to him. They sit in silence for a while, Lando looking at his hands twisting in his lap while Sebastian stares up at the night sky.

“Kimi is with Carlos,’ Sebastian says almost conversationally as if Lando isn’t going through an intense emotional crisis, ‘He tried to follow you out but I didn’t think it would be a good idea.”

Lando turns to look at Sebastian and finds the German already looking at him. Lando almost feels naked as he’s observed, like Sebastian’s eyes can see through him and into his mind. He doesn’t feel the need to tell him anything, he already knows what’s happened.

“It wasn’t that I was a boy,’ Lando says, suddenly feeling ready to confess everything to Sebastian, ‘It’s not that he isn’t gay, it’s that he doesn’t like me. It makes me feel like I’m being rejected all over again.”

They’re quiet for a few seconds before Sebastian wraps an arm around Lando’s shoulder.

“That really fucking sucks,’ Sebastian says which chokes a bit of a disbelieving laugh out of Lando.

“Are you here to comfort me then?’ He asks self-deprecatingly.

“Maybe,’ Sebastian replies cryptically, ‘Mostly just to give you some advice.”

“And what advice is that?’ He asks, feeling a little bit sceptical, especially as Sebastian has never shown any interest in giving him advice before.

“Your first love is amazing,’ he says, looking out to the sea as if he’s being transported back to a different time, ‘It’s intense and wonderful and they will always hold a special place in your heart…but it’s rare that these things work out without a few tears.”

They’re quiet again and Lando can’t help his curiosity.

“Who was your first love?’ He asks, feeling as if in the darkness of the night they can talk about these things in a way that would never happen in the day.

Sebastian lets out a low chuckle.

“Believe it or not, it was Kimi,’ he says and Lando’s mouth drops wide open, ‘That is most other people’s reaction when I tell them.”

“What happened?’ Lando asks, picturing in his mind how close the two drivers were now and wondering how they managed to get to that point.

Sebastian shrugs.

“I liked him, he didn’t like me,’ he says simply but the little twinkle in his eyes tells Lando there’s more to that story, ‘That is not the point of my advice. Sometimes, these things that consume every part of us, they are not meant to be. One day, you will meet someone who doesn’t change you but makes you want to change. They make you want to be better, to work harder, to be someone worthy of their love.”

Sebastian pauses and looks down at the wedding band on his ring finger, smiling to himself. Lando’s heart feels so full at the words Sebastian is saying and even as he tries to picture someone who would make him feel all these things for himself, his brain provides images of curly hair, a crooked grin and thigh tattoos. He can’t help but blush despite himself.

“Race drivers are creatures of passion,’ Sebastian continues, ‘We love deeply and feel heartbreak to our core but we also know how to bounce back when we’re knocked down. Even though it might not seem like it, you’ll be okay.”

They sit in silence for a while, both reflecting on Sebastian’s words before he lets out a content sigh.

“I should go back now I’ve done my spiel,’ he says and Lando huffs a laugh and accepts the hand that pulls him to his feet.

“Thanks Seb,’ he says quietly, feeling a little bashful, ‘That…that made me feel a lot better.”

Sebastian looks at him thoughtfully before ruffling his hair.

“Anytime kid,’ he says affectionately, ‘If you have any more problems, please come and talk to me and I’ll see what I can do. If I can’t help, normally Kimi is pretty good at giving advice, mostly because he doesn’t do bullshit.”

‘Sebastian Vettel just told me I can tell him about all my personal problems’ is the first thing that goes through his head but he decides he can fangirl later.

“Thank you,’ he says again, not quite able to express how grateful he is enough.

Sebastian smiles at him before turning around and walking back the way they had come. Lando stays glued to the spot, not quite wanting to go back yet.

“Are you not coming back to the party?’ He asks and Lando shakes his head, ‘Well do you have anywhere else you can stay?”

Lando bites his lip, knowing there’s somewhere he can go but not sure if the resident will be too pleased to see him.

“Can you just let Dan know I’m safe?’ He asks Sebastian who nods, giving him a quick hug before walking back to Daniel’s apartment.

Lando pulls out his phone (there are several unread text messages from Daniel, Carlos and his mother but he only has limited battery so he ignores them for now), finds the contact and hits call.

*

“Hey,’ Max greets him gently as Lando walks in through the door, ‘Rough night?”

“You could say that,’ Lando says, practically falling face down onto the sofa, ‘Had my heart broken a second time, got a pep talk from Sebastian Vettel, chatted golf with Lance, I think that’s about it.”

Max huffs out a laugh and flicks Lando on the ear as he walks past.

“Cool, I’ll grab you a water and some aspirin you little drama queen,’ he says as he makes his way to the kitchen.

“Do you have any crisps?’ Lando asks pitifully, ‘Or chocolate digestives?”

“Neither of those things,’ Max says with a snort as he comes back with a full glass and some tablets, ‘Unlike you, my body is a temple.”

“To what, the world’s worst iracers?’ Lando teases and Max kicks him for his trouble, ‘Hey, it was a joke.”

“That hurt deep Lando,’ Max says, taking a seat on one of the armchairs nearest his head.

There’s silence while Lando sips his water, trying to muddle through what he’s going to say to Max. Sometimes he wishes Daniel hadn’t told him what happened between them and he could just still slip back into his easy camaraderie rather than waiting for an inevitably difficult conversation. However he knows that’s selfish and it took a lot of guts for Daniel to tell him about what happened. Plus he had been so kind and considerate to Lando about his own, admittedly super pathetic, pining that he felt guilty any time he did wish that.

“Did Dan tell you about us?’ Max asks suddenly and Lando chokes on his water.

Once he’s finished coughing, he looks at Max’s face and sees a kind of resigned acceptance there. An acceptance of what, he’s not sure.

“He did,’ he says, deciding he’s going to be honest.

Max rubs his face with both hands, just once at first but then more vigorously. When he moves his hands away, his skin is red and there are tears in his eyes.

“I’m an absolute piece of shit,’ Max states and Lando is having flashbacks to having a very similar discussion with Daniel, ‘I…I didn’t want to hurt him but I knew that the longer it went on, the worse it would be in the end.”

They’re both quiet as Lando takes in this information. It’s no wonder that he and Daniel got on so well, they both seemed to have the same opinions of themselves.

“Do you love Dilara?’ Lando asks and Max smiles minutely.

“Yes,’ he whispers.

“And do you love Dan?’ Lando asks this time and Max’s face scrunches up.

“I have no idea,’ he admits, ‘Sometimes he just made me so mad, like he drove me completely fucking crazy but sometimes that was what I liked about him too. He just made me feel so…”

“Alive?’ Lando supplies and Max nods enthusiastically.

That’s the thing about Daniel, Lando thinks; you just can’t help but be pulled into his orbit. That intensity isn’t for everyone but Lando’s finding it might just be for him.

“I didn’t want to string him along while I was trying to work out my own feelings,’ Max continues quietly, ‘I don’t want him waiting around for me, I don’t deserve it. So when I ended things, I tried to make it hurt as much as I could thinking that…if he really, really hated me, I wouldn’t be tempted into going back to him.”

Max is openly crying now, salty tears falling onto the carpet and Lando sits there, mesmerised, as his friend opens up, not able to stop now he’s started.

“I want him to hate me because if he does, maybe he can move on. He deserves so much more than to just be my…my dirty secret,’ Max cries, ‘But when I look at him and just see dead eyes, I…I can’t stand that I did that to him.”

Max continues to cry as Lando watches, feeling his own eyes begin to prickle with tears. He still doesn’t approve of either of their actions, not by a long shot but he at least understands now why Max was such an asshole. More than an asshole really.

“You broke his heart Max,’ he says quietly.

“I know,’ Max replies, leaning back in his chair, ‘I just…I don’t know what I wish could have happened. I really, really fucked up.”

Lando sighs.

“You did,’ he says, ‘But Mr Sebastian Vettel just gave me some great advice and that was even though it might seem like it, everything will be okay.”

Max snorts unattractively.

“Did he get that off of a motivational quotes calendar?’ He asks and Lando rolls his eyes.

“I’m trying to make you feel better,’ Lando says, ‘Funnily enough it sounded better coming from him than from me.”

Max sighs heavily, looking over at Lando with red-rimmed eyes.

“Thanks mate,’ he says, giving him a small smile.

“Anytime,’ Lando says and although he still feels conflicted, he’s glad they had this conversation and got everything out in the open, ‘Now, what do you say we watch some shitty TV then go to bed?”

Max lets out a watery laugh before handing Lando the TV remote. They fall asleep watching Downtown Abbey.

*

Lando wakes up with a crick in his neck and to a loud banging at the door. He goes to check his phone only to see it’s died. He checks the clock above the TV and sees it’s gone midday. Shit. Max is nowhere to be seen so it’s up to him to calm whoever is on the other side of the door. He takes a look through the peephole and sees an irate and tired-looking Daniel on the other side. Unlocking the door, he opens it cautiously. Daniel’s face goes from irritated to relieved in a heartbeat and Lando’s heart does a stupid flip in his chest.

“Morning honey bunch,’ he says quietly, ‘Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah, um, sorry I didn’t reply to any of your messages, my phone died and I forgot to ask Max for a charger,’ Lando replies, looking at the ground to avoid the intense look in Daniel’s eyes.

“Well Seb told me you were safe,’ Daniel replies, trying to seem casual despite the fact he was trying to bang the door down not two minutes ago, ‘I figured this is where you would go so I didn’t see much need to worry about you last night.”

“Then what was that scene just then? Couldn’t wait to see me?’ Lando asks and is that a flirtatious tone he just injected into his voice?

Daniel smiles and shrugs.

“Maybe,’ he replies, ‘Also Max is a heavy sleeper so I thought I might be able to piss him off as well.”

Lando’s smile dims a little, remembering abruptly that Max is Daniel’s ex and so they know these things about each other. Daniel seems to notice this and is about to speak when Max appears behind Lando.

“Dan,’ he says quietly in greeting.

“Max,’ Daniel replies and Lando feels they’re his divorced parents handing him over for the weekend.

“Do…do you want to come in?’ Max asks hesitantly and Dan’s eyes widen almost comically.

“Um, I’m just here to pick up Lando. We had a jam-packed day today,’ he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

Max nods before he goes back into the flat.

“Maybe,’ Lando starts and both men look at him, ‘Um, maybe another time we can hang out? The three of us?”

Max and Daniel share a look over the top of his head before Daniel breaks into a grin and ruffles Lando’s hair (what was everyone’s obsession with doing that lately?).

“Maybe honey bunch,’ he says and Lando hears Max’s shaky, relieved exhale.

Lando walks back into the flat and picks up his jacket and phone off of the sofa. He looks at Max and smiles before pulling him into a one-armed hug.

“Thanks,’ he says and Max pats him on the back.

“No, thank you,’ Max replies, patting him patronisingly on the cheek as they part.

Lando rolls his eyes and waves him goodbye before him and Daniel walk out of the door.

They walk down the corridor and get the elevator, quiet the whole way down. When they exit, Daniel directs Lando to his car and they head back to his apartment.

“Y’know, I thought it would be harder going to Max’s for the first time since…what happened,’ Daniel says when they’re stopped at a red light, breaking the quiet atmosphere that had fallen over the car, ‘But knowing you were there made it a bit easier.”

Daniel grins easily at Lando and pats his thigh. He squeezes before pulling it away and shifting gears as the light goes green but Lando feels as if his brain has just short-circuited from that small bit of contact.

Oh no. As he looks at Daniel’s profile, he’s hit with the realisation that he just can’t deny anymore.

He’s definitely caught feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oo, nearly at the end now!! This one is a bit longer, mostly to make up for the one before being so short but I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reading!


	5. Don’t Convince Me Otherwise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel is worried about where they’re going before they even begin.

Daniel has noticed in the past couple of weeks that Lando likes him. It wasn’t through some huge revelation or a grand gesture that left him shocked. It only took Lando blushing and stuttering a little when Daniel showed him his newest tattoo he’s added to his thigh collection for him to think ‘ah, I see’. The knowledge itself wasn’t too mind-blowing. What was was the ease with which Daniel accepted the information.

Of course he’d dated people younger than him before (the first one coming to mind being Max) but sometimes the gap between where him and Lando were in their careers just seemed so overwhelming that he couldn’t imagine how anything would ever work out between them.

However, there were other days when him and Lando were pressed against each other in the driver’s room or watching a movie in his home cinema where Lando would simply rest his head on Daniel’s shoulder and he’d feel an wave of contentment wash over him. He’d have to resist the urge to look down, tilt the younger man’s chin and just press a little kiss against his lips.

It was a completely different feeling to what he had ever felt before. His and Max’s relationship (if you could even call it that) was all about fire and passion and trying to be better than one another but with Lando, he took comfort in the little things; playful touches, flirtatious teasing, silly jokes that had them wheezing with laughter long after it was necessary. It was so easy with Lando which is why he was so annoyed that his feelings had to be so complicated.

He was especially still cautious about Carlos. After what had happened at his party, Daniel had first been worried about Lando shutting down and still being a complete social mess around the Spaniard. However, it was as if now he’d seen him with someone else, Lando had finally been given the motivation to move on. He’d even seen the pair of them laughing together just outside of the Ferrari garage and, although Daniel was happy they were salvaging their friendship, he couldn’t be sure whether Lando was truly over his crush or if he had suddenly turned into a very good actor.

They are nearing the end of the season now and Daniel has just managed to get his first McLaren podium in Suzuka. Lando finishes in fourth place, his highest ever position and there’s plenty to celebrate. The team insist on taking them out for some well-deserved drinks which turns into a warbled karaoke session. Daniel isn’t drinking as much as he normally would but he feels so keyed up on his success in the race that he doesn’t care. He watches Lando make his way through a very off-key version of Señorita, stating ‘this one is for you Sebastian!’ before he starts.

Daniel laughs so hard, especially at all of the pseudo Spanish dance moves Lando manages to pull out of the bag. In the last chorus, he pulls Daniel up with him, pushing the mic into his face with a raised eyebrow, daring him to refuse. Never one to back down, Daniel wraps an arm around Lando’s waist and pulls him close, slotting their legs together and pretending to serenade him.

Lando’s face drops from challenging to flirtatious in about two seconds and although he continues singing, his eyes are mainly focusing on Daniel’s lips. He’s really not very subtle.

The song ends and they both sit down accompanied by raucous applause and whoops from the team. Charlotte shoots Daniel a knowing look but all he can do is give her an innocent little smile back. She looks to Lando, a little bit sadly then turns away again to carry on talking to one of the engineers. Daniel looks at Lando and catches him staring. He quickly looks away but Daniel slings an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. Everyone they’re with has seen them do this a hundred times before so he’s not bothered but Lando seems particularly bashful tonight, hiding his blushing face behind his hands.

“Who taught you those moves?’ Daniel asks conversationally as the next song starts up.

“Who’s to say I’m not just a natural born dancer?’ Lando counters, finally showing his face so he can give Daniel a look.

“Very true,’ he says, ‘I wonder what other hip action you’ve been up to in order to get so good.”

‘You’re playing a dangerous game Danny boy’ he thinks to himself as he watches Lando cutely rub the back of his head and blush. They sit together for a while, not talking and just soaking up the atmosphere around them. They cheer on their friends and join in with some of the songs they actually do know (which in Lando’s case, isn’t many). The entire time, Daniel rests his arm around Lando’s shoulders, automatically rubbing his thumb in little circles against him.

“I think we should go back to the hotel,’ Lando says suddenly, turning to face Daniel.

There’s an edge to his tone that incites both excitement and a little bit of fear into him and he wonders if this is it.

“Sure,’ he says with a smile, removing his hand and standing up, pulling Lando along behind him.

He makes sure to let the guys know they’re leaving so they don’t end up having a search party called after them and manage to catch a taxi back to the hotel. They’re entirely silent the whole way, tension seeming to build between them with every building that they pass. Eventually they arrive at their destination, Daniel pays the driver and they make their way inside. Without even thinking, Daniel follows Lando right up to his bedroom door. He watches as he inserts the key card then turns back to him, eyes wide.

“Come in,’ he says although it sounds partly like a question.

Daniel follows him inside and can’t help but laugh at the array of clothes strewn on the floor and the amount of mess Lando has managed to create in such a small amount of time. He seems at least a little bit embarrassed, kicking a particularly large pile into his open suitcase before turning back to Daniel.

“Let’s watch something,’ Lando says quickly, sitting on the edge of the bed after grabbing the TV remote and turning it on to a random channel.

He flicks through a few before settling on a random game show program and watches the screen intently. Daniel takes a seat next to him but doesn’t even focus on trying to work out what’s happening in the game: it’s stifling, the weight of words unsaid between the pair of them and he wishes he could work out what to say. However, he feels Lando’s hand moving up his thigh, coming to rest on his balled fist. He turns to the younger man and inhales sharply at the look of absolute trust that he finds there.

“Hi,’ Lando whispers, curling his fingers around Daniel’s now that his fist has loosened.

“Hey,’ Daniel whispers back, a grin breaking out onto his face.

Lando leans forward a little bit, face getting closer and closer as if he’s ready for Daniel to pull away at any second. Daniel’s heart is thumping in his chest and it only gets harder with every single centimetre that Lando inches closer to him. He pauses just before reaching his lips, looking up through his lashes into Daniel’s eyes. Daniel knows he’s going cross eyed but that doesn’t seem to bother the younger man as he gently presses their lips together, just for a second.

He pulls away and the smile he gives Daniel is sad. Daniel realises he’s just been staring at Lando looking dumbstruck and how that could be interpreted.

“I don’t want to be your rebound,’ he says quickly, shocked at the fact he managed to say anything at all, ‘I want to be more than that.”

Lando’s smile goes from sad to curious.

“You won’t be,’ he replies quietly, leaning in closer again, ‘And anyway, I think I’m more worried about being your rebound.”

Daniel shakes his head, cupping Lando’s cheek with his palm before leaning their foreheads together. This feels too perfect. He doesn’t deserve to feel this way, he isn’t a good person but God, he wants to be.

“You’re drunk,’ he says next, choosing to ignore the fact that he knows Lando only had one alcoholic beverage tonight (which he knows because he’s an absolute stalker who was watching him all evening).

“I’m not drunk,’ Lando says, ‘Are you drunk?”

Daniel shakes his head before continuing.

“I’m way too old for you,’ he says, trying not to let himself get distracted by the now-grinning lips that are almost within touching distance of his own.

“I’m a big boy who can make my own decision. AND you act about five years younger than me,’ Lando replies cheekily before turning a little more bashful, ‘Plus, I kind of like it…you being more experienced.”

“That’s a funny way of saying that I’m fucking ancient,’ Daniel says and Lando snorts.

“Not the point,’ he says, cupping Daniel’s face with his own hands, face turning serious, ‘No matter what you say to try and convince me otherwise, I still want you. You think you’re not worth it but…I already know you are.”

They’re both silent for a second, just breathing in each other’s presence before Daniel speaks again.

“Did you rehearse that?’ He asks, ‘You’re being surprisingly eloquent tonight.”

“I may or may not have planned out that speech,’ Lando says with a giggle, ‘So…what do you say?”

Daniel thinks of all the fun the two of them have, how it all seems to come so naturally to them. He thinks of introducing Lando to his parents, joking with them around a barbecue before pulling him out into the fields to look at the clear skies full of stars. He imagines both of them standing on the podium, of hugging him close and them tasting champagne on his kisses. He sees them cuddling on the sofas in the drivers room like they do already but now Daniel can press a kiss to Lando’s forehead and receive one in return.

He can picture a future with Lando and he can’t wait for it to begin.

“Let’s fucking do this thing honey bunch.”

END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that’s all folks! Hope you enjoyed the final chapter and thank you for reading through all of this story. If you’d like to see anymore of this couple, leave a comment as I do enjoy writing them! Thank you again!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story! It will be less sad, I swear! I also promise I am working on my castaways AU sequel but I had this idea at work the other day and managed to bash out the entire first draft in about 8 solid hours of typing so I just had to post it. As always, if you enjoyed, please leave a review/kudos as they really do keep me going! Stay safe and thanks again!


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